Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
