omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
