we have pet lesbian snakes
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
