I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
