Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
