Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
