The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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