You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
