she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
