I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
