Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I can't turn off my feet"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize
