White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
God, I missed his penis.
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