i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I have aggressive nipples.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
