Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
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I just found puke in my bra..
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
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Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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