I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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