What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize