Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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