it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
