Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
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wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
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all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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