my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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