We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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