I think scott just propositioned me for sex
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
