I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
