I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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