I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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