They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Use "feeling words"
Yay
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
