So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
