i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
