that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
