Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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