I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
