Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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