i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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