Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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