you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize