so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
