why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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