What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
