If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Randomize