please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
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So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
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All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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