god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
