:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much rum. So many feels.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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