Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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