Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
