Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
