omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
