Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize