are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
