this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
