So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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