A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
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I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
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I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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