So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i think i have two assholes
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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