What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
